3rd Wave Feminism… a Plague

Once again, modern Feminism is LYING.

3rd wave feminism is a plague on society. They hate men. I can’t tell you the number of young me who I hear from who say, “I’m tired being assumed I am a rapist”. I can’t tell you the number of middle aged and older women who tell me, “I’m not a feminist anymore, because the definition of feminism has changed.”

The FACTS are ignored these days. The first two waves of feminism were about truth and were fighting the good fight:
1800s = 1st wave feminism, the suffragettes, was about legal equality: women having the right to vote, to become doctors and lawyers, etc.
1900s = 2nd wave feminism was about social equality in gender roles at work, at home, such as fighting the wage-gap, etc.
HOWEVER…
2000s = 3rd wave feminism is recent and is not about equality. It is about subversing men and it does so by lying: 1) 
there is no wage-gap anymore (as there was in the 1960s) but they talk about it as if it was fact; 2) there is no rape-culture (as there is in the middle east), but they have created a hysteria and false statistics, such as every 1 in 5 collage women are raped or that EVERY man is a rapist inside; 3) they are against free speech and when someone disagrees with them, they call it hate-speech and try to ban certain words from being used on social media, in public places, etc.

We need a 4th wave of feminism, that brings us away from this discourse of LIES and takes on the real issues, such as equality between ALL people and all “genders”. We will never be able to have equality and justice when the issues are muddled with lies.

Watch videos by Christina Hoff Sommers / The Factual Feminist. Her arguments that prove the gender wage-gap is not true:

1. “23-cent gender pay gap” = average all men’s earnings – average of all women’s earnings of men and women working full time. It does not account for differences in occupations, positions, educations, job tenure, or hours worked per week.
a. For example, female physicians choose lower paying specialties, such as pediatrics or family medicine, rather than highly paying specialties, such as cardiology or anesthesiology.
b. Women are also likely to work part time. Even women who work full time put in about 7% fewer hours than men. Female physicians are also more likely to take long leaves of absence. 

2. “Invisible Barriers, Internalized Oppression”: 
However, it is not social conditioning that explains women’s vocational preferences. Perhaps in the pursuit of happiness, men and women take somewhat different paths (in general). “It’s it a little bit more than patronising to suggest that most American woman are not free and self-determining human beings” to choose their own career paths?

3. Here is common sense proof that the male-female wage gap is untrue: if it were really true that an employer could get away with paying women less than men for the exact same work, wouldn’t most employers fire as many of their male employees and replace them with females and enjoy a huge market advantage?

A woman can be, today, anything she wants. If women want to earn more, they should stop choosing GENDER STUDIES and start choosing ENGINEERING, COMPUTER SCIENCES, and other work that is in demand. The wage-gap is not gender based. It’s about supply and demand. It is patronising to BOTH men and women, because I too have chosen a path that is not in the high paying group, a teacher, and I earn the least of all my female colleagues. Why? Because i have lower education, qualifications, and job tenure. Do I start screaming and complaining that the wage gap is because I am a man??? No. Because I refuse to be a victim. I am not a victim because I have chosen not to.

Young women, Millennials, stop playing the victim!

“Women in America are the freest in the world, yet many feminists tell us women are oppressed. They advocate this falsehood through victim mentality propaganda and misleading statistics, such as the gender wage gap myth. In five minutes, American Enterprise Institute’s Christina Hoff Sommers tells you the truth about feminism.”

Never Miss Twice

This blog will actually be mostly from other sources, but I thought it was so good that I want to share it and make sure I don’t loose the information myself:

“In 2007 Jerry Seinfeld, the famous New York Comedian, inadvertently became a guru of getting things done.

Aspiring comedian Brad Isaac asked Jerry’s advice on how to become great. The answer is now known as the Seinfeld method of productivity.

Here’s how it works:

First you pick a fun activity you can do everyday.

To stay motivated, Seinfeld marked the calendar every day he did It.

‘After a few days you’ll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You’ll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain,’ said Brad Isaac.

You have to do it each day.

For example it’s fine to read a book about watercolor painting techniques, but if you don’t actually pick up a brush and start painting, you will never improve your painting skills.

Now, here’s the small twist that makes Jerry’s system even better. 

I’ve used this method to lose 30 pounds, got myself as physically fit as most guys half my age (I’m 51), and got rid of a creeping bad habit. 

This small change makes Jerry’s system more doable. 

The difference is a slight loosening in your level of commitment that makes it sustainable. Plus, it’s more fun and more motivating. 

You still mark the calendar every day you complete your task, but you are allowed to miss a day. 

The challenge you must commit to is to “Never Miss Twice.” 

You’re allowed a day off. 

That’s realistic. 

We all need a rest day. Even the Big Man rested on the seventh day. 

Your commitment is to “Never Miss Twice.” 

All last year I did it with exercise, and now I am in phenomenal condition. 

I did it with nutrition too. 

If I have an indulgent day, the next day I make sure I eat healthy. I never miss my healthy diet two days in a row. 

I was becoming “pudgy”, and now I am at my ideal weight. 

I also do it with alcohol. 

No! I don’t mean that I drink alcohol every day. 

What I mean is… if I have a drink, then the next day I don’t. 

I still enjoy a steak and red wine, but not every day. 

The “Never Miss Twice” idea changed my life. 

My blood pressure is good, my weight is spot on and I’m as fit as ever. 

If you dedicate just 10–20 minutes a day to speak Spanish with the videos and “Never Miss Twice,” you can become a Spanish speaker. 

It’s as simple as that. 

Nothing can stop you.”

(Source: Marcus Santamaria, Spanish Communication Coach at http://www.synergyspanishsystems.com/blog/seinfelds-spanish-system/)

My Ever-Changing Political Views

Recently, I read an article in the Swedish newspaper, Sydsvenskan, that immigrant youth were blamed for urinating, posing, and masturbating in a church, when in fact it was Swedish youth. The article’s point was that we should stop blaming immigrants for all crime.
True enough. But then I posted a comment in a sarcastic way:
     Silly! Can’t blame immigrants for everything. Immigrants are only responsible for the raping of young women and bullying of gay men.
     The response was an equally sarcastic rebuttal to my comment, something like,
Yes, it’s amazing that we, who do not belong to the group of immigrants, are so divine. No rapists, homophobes, abusers of women,  and certainly not judgmental … well, the list is looooong!
     Actually, I AM an immigrant… lol ! And interestingly enough, it is IMMIGRANTS, from more respectable countries and societies that reject Sharia Laws and their values, who make the most complaints against other immigrants, integration, etc. That would be an interesting area of research: why WE immigrants are more critical and demanding of other immigrants than Swedes are. Most of the Sweden Democrates’ (SD) support is from the immigrant community, as I understand it. There is an article from Malmö University’s pages about these issues. One of our colleagues in the building, Anders Hellström, has a very interesting book on the subject, Trust Us. He is the expert of the extreme-right party, the Sweden Democrates (SD), and what he says in the article is very interesting. Part of what he says is how Sweden is the only country where the other parties are ACTIVELY blocking the extreme-right party.
     However, I wouldn’t be surprised if one day I end up voting for SD! I have gone from Social Democrate (S) in the left to the Moderates (M) and Centre Party (C) in the middle. I wonder if my opinions will keep forming toward the right. I absolutely do not like the extreme left and right. However, I do like the views of what the Americans are calling the Alternative Right, or Alt-Right. They are opposing another new group of people, the Alternative Left, or Alt Left, who are now between 20 and 34 years old  and who are called Generation Y, or more commonly, the Millennials. They are the Alternative Left and are so called “Social Justice Warriors” (SJWs), and they are the 3rd Wave Feminists (which is a horrible and extreme from childish feminism that is not based on truth and logic but on rhetoric and emotions) that claims to believe in Intersectional Feminism. This movement is a cancer in society, and is only a bunch of youth who cry and throw themselves to the ground, like toddlers in a daycare centre, when they don’t get their way. And they cry about triggering, safe-spaces, and other bull-shit. These children are the over-privilaged youth of the Millennial generation.[Interestingly enough, they have entered Swedish art too. The present production of På Gransen, a new Swedish play, a satirical comedy, at Malmö City Theatre, which is getting wonderful praise by the press, turns out to be nothing more that Social Justice Warriors, Alternative-Left, 3rd wave feministic, Millennial BULL SHIT. My son (15, intelligent with Aspergers and a very high IQ and reasoning skills, who is the next generation AFTER the Millennials) and his grand-mother (a baby-boomer) saw the play for me last night when I couldn’t go. They didn’t like it. They could appreciate the artistry, but they said the play wasn’t funny or entertaining at all if you weren’t a Social Justice Warrior or Millennial. ]
      The danger is the the Alternative Left views of the Millennials has invaded Swedish left politics and is destroying the Social Democrats and any left views. When I arrived in Sweden I was Social Democrat. In the last 10 years, the Millenials have crept into politics and the government, and destroyed the party. The party is immature now. Millennials are responsible for emotional politics that doesn’t properly think about the consequences of of actions.

     This is what most immigrants are tired of. The present immigration crisis is a part of that. The present criminality in Malmö, the rapes, the bullying of the LGBT, etc., is a part of that. Interestingly, 70% of crimes are committed by immigrants. Or, something like that. The vast majority of immigrants are over-represented in the courts, prisons, and statistics. Also, you don’t see SWEDISH 15 year olds throwing rocks at the police or setting fire to cars, mailboxes or garages. Maybe the Swedish 15 year old are only defiling the Swedish church. Read Martin Melin’s blog posts (http://martinmelinblogg.se).

Getting Kids and Pizza

I kind of love Fridays.
This is the day I either get my kids or leave my kids. Every week.
Getting them today is amazing after not having them a week. I always miss them by the end. And I get them PIZZA to welcome them home.
I also love when they go away to their mother’s for a week. I get a week off. It may sound strange for a parent to have a week off… there are lots of single parents in the world who always have their kids and have no dad to send the kids to every second week. But that doesn’t change the fact that for me, in this culture and situation, it is still wonderful to get the week off… and I get used to it.
And I DO have one special-needs kids and one kid who has extra needs because he’s the brother of a special-needs kid and it’s been tough for 5 years. And living in a society with no discipline and structure for children is tough… as Temple Granden, expert, author and having autism herself, says, “Back in the 1950s, when I was a kid, we had clear rules and instructions on how to behave. We were TAUGHT social skills. So, as a child with Aspergers, I got clear instruction and guidance at school, in public, and at home. Nowadays, children are not taught any of that, unless their parents do it. Kids without Asperger’s pick up social skills just from watching and observing. However, kids with Asperger’s are not able to do that. They don’t have that intuitive capability.”
So, we parents have a very tough job of it with special needs kids like mine, because no one is out there in daily life helping me. The result is clear: Lukas has so many needs, and very few people understand or help me. He is in bed all day every day; if he gets tummy ache or something, no one tells him to just suck it up and go to school because you have to. He knows he doesn’t have too. Society (school, etc) is too soft now. There are no requirements. Society doesn’t provide a network anymore to make sure every child can get out into the working world. So, children with special needs become depressed, bored, unmotivated, suicidal, fat, lazy, anti-social.
This is what I deal with every week I get the kids. So, it is wonderful to have them coming today… I miss them. But on the other hand, I feel a touch of apprehension:
How will it go this week? Will I get him out the door to school? Will I even get him out of bed? Will he sleep badly every night? Will he have a sore tummy all week? Will he eat crap all week? Will he get constipated or get diarrhoea? Will he get antiety and panic attacks? Will he shower too much?
And then there is the problem of his hair and bad skin. Because of his OCD, his need to be germ free, and his need to not be touched, he hasn’t been able to have a hair cut since he was 12 years old (he’s now 14). So, his hair is now 37 cm long and un-managable. And always wet because he showers 3 or 4 times a day. And he leaves hair and dead skin all over. Cleaning his room (and the house) is a big deal when he leaves.
So, I have mixed feelings today. But of course, I love them to death. Now, enough of this. I need to make a menu, shopping list, and stock the fridge!

Principles of My Life:

I was chatting with my friend in the US who I met 32 years ago in January 1984. With that perspective on life, I was reminded of the creeds I live my life by, some new, some older:

“There are no mistakes, only experiences”.
“The Vacuum Principle: create a vacuum in your life; get rid of what you don’t want to make room for what you DO want”.
Then I have another, that might not seem so nice, but it is about setting heathy boarders around me and keeping me from co-dependent relationships:
“Cut negative people out of your life like a cancer; those people who are energy thieves or who don’t bring anything to the relationship, simply cut them off”.
These 3 principles, while I have sometimes failed to follow them for a period of time, have saved me. Because I only have this one life (as far as I know or will remember), and it is only MINE to do something good with. Of course, I always feel a lot of love and emotion, and that brings balance to what might seem like some hard principles. But I have noticed that REAL friends, people who are worth it, come back into my life in a healthier relationship because of these. And others, who really are just too negative and really are like a cancer, stay away. And each of these principles just seem to related to the other, because if I separated my life from something or someone negative, and later that thing or person comes back in a healthy way, then, “There are no mistakes, only experiences”, and it was good that I cut them out.
The vacuum principle has been great. These last 10 years I have been getting rid of stuff, both physically and metaphorically. The result is a nice clean house… physically and metaphorically !!! We all know that we need to keep vacuuming or the house doesn’t STAY clean. The best time for me is when I feel depressed… oh boy, then the cupboards start getting empty as I theraputically get rid of stuff that I don’t use or need. For those of you who are hoarders— I can only remember ONE time I had to go out and buy something I threw out… and it only cost me about 150 crowns (20 dollars). So it was WORTH it.
Actually, that is the principle that has allowed me to travel to Gran Canaria so much. I literally got rid of one QUARTER of my stuff, and emptied 40 square meters of my basement. Then I turned it into a money making student flat. 4250 crowns a month I get. That’s 52 000crowns a year. That’s a lot of trips! All because after my divorce, I started the vacuum principle. I emptied my life and house of things I didn’t want or need to make room for what I do.
At times, my big heart has let people into my life that I should not have, but these principles have helped protect me from harm and helped me. I don’t have a lot of rules or any religion, but I live by these simple 3 principles and, like the rest of us, stumble through life the best I can.

On the point of Kristina:

The divorce was the best thing for us both. It was easy on me, and I was happy right away and began exploring my sexuality and who I was. I found that within 6 months all the best parts of me were coming back, those parts that had been asleep for over a decade.

For her, it was much tougher, because she had always relied on me to do everything and provide everything and she was never independent. And she had never grown up. So, she got MORE depressed, gained weight, felt awful about herself, and was often on medical leave. It was NOT good for the kids.

But therapy has really helped, she started dancing jitter-bugg, and that meant going out to meet people, make new friends, and getting exercise. This last 10 to 12 months she has gotten much happier, and the kids and I notice. She went on Weight Watchers and looks great. Actually, I think she is too thin. But she is happy and that’s what is important. So the result is we work even better together and we could forgive each other and move past the baggage we had. We really see each other as the other IS now. We are actually becoming friends. it is so good for the kids.

She had made the mistake of loving a gay man, and she went so far as to marry one and have kids with him. The church and her didn’t see me as I was really was. Now that she accepts (and dare I say ‘loves’) me as I am, she can let go of the past. The same for me. Now that I see her for who she is, and not what I wanted to make her into for me, I could let go and forgive her. I see her as she is. It was essential for us to realise we were trying to force the other to be someone they were not.

How could I love and accept her for who she was when I never accepted myself for who I was all my life. It was only after coming out as Bi 11 months after our divorce and then as gay 6 months later again, that I could love myself. I finally for the first time in my life said ‘fuck it’ to everyone else and loved myself, truly as I am. Only then could I turn to look at others and love them as they are.

So, for the first time in my life I really SEE Kristina. And her accepting me as I am… gay… means she can really SEE me. It means anything we did to each other in the past was done in blindness, not cruelty . That knowledge makes it easy to forgive and move on. I really like her now. HER… not who I think she should be.

And that is good for our boys… for us all really.

When the difficult become daily-life…

Human beings adjust to change. Sometimes we even thrive in it. But we hate it.

I never realised that I had adjusted to Lukas’ problems with Asperger’s and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), until today when I am filling out applications for extra financial help for the extra costs of having such a child. I have had to think deep and long about what he and we have gone through, and remember what EXTRA stress it adds to our lives. I forgot I was living in a state of constant stress. But my body’s survival mode took over and make it all easier. But the following is what we live with: him, myself, his brother, and his mother. Below is what I have to write in the application:

It takes a lot of time and energy to motivate and get Lukas to go with us when we need or even want to go somewhere, for example the doctor’s, the children’s psych clinic, the (re-)habilitation clinic, to meet the family… yeah, everything. Lukas finds it very difficult to go out because of both his Asperger’s/Autism and OCD.

His OCD means that extra time and planning is needed before we go anywhere, for example that we have with us a jacket or blanket he can sit on, that he has his medications, etc. His OCD makes it impossible for him to touch anything or sit where others have sat. 

Lukas eats a very limited diet: mostly meat. Because Lukas is mostly at home from school at the moment, there must always be food at home, and not just any food but three cooked meals a day. He only eats cooked meals, fresh… no left-overs. 

Lukas showers at LEAST 2 to 3 times a day, and changes his clothes several times a day, because of the OCD. We also have to change and wash his bed-sheets 2-3 times a week. This results in a LOT of washing. 

Lukas doesn’t brush his teeth without being reminded.

Lukas has a problem with sleep and must take a medication that is not sold or covered by the Swedish pharmacy. So, it is special ordered by the doctor and the pharmacy and costs a great deal of money. It is a slow-time-released Melatonin, which in any other country can be bought over the counter at the pharmacy at a very low cost. 

Lukas even takes medicine for depression and anxiety. This we need to remind him to take twice a day. He takes Certain, Atarax and Circadian. We put them out for him and remind him to take them. 

A LOT OF TIME is spent of visits to the doctor’s, children’s psych clinic, the habilitation clinic, social services, school meetings, etc. Besides this it takes a lot of time to fill in forms & applications and to keep contact with the above names services. We need to constantly communicate, report, and push to get doctor’s times and treatment. 

Because Lukas is mostly at home and has DAILY panic attacks, I need to be able to be reached and to be able to go home at a moments notice or to work shorter days so that Lukas does not need to be alone so much of the time. 

Lukas has a great need to be pushed, supported, and motivated in EVERYTHING he has to do. Otherwise, Lukas stays in bed all day. 

Lukas goes to Blicher’s School and has a place at their dormitory, which is more of a rehabilitation and treatment facility run by the social services department for children and youth with problems such as his (HVB-hem: hem för vård eller boende ). The goal is for him to live there 4 nights a week so that he lives right at the school and gets a lot of the treatment he needs. However, he he is not able to take part in the teaching or even stay overnight in the dormitory because of his OCD and panic attacks. 

We have daily contact with the school and dormitory: phone calls and messages that require a lot of time, thought, and energy. 

Extra financial costs incurred because of Lukas’ diagnosis are: washing (washing soap, electricity, buying a new machine for the increased work load), buying extras of all clothing, special orthopaedic shoes (MBT), extra medicines not covered by the Swedish system, travel costs, time spent away from work to care for him, extra cleaning supplies and services.

Extra time costs are: time from work, time travelling to appointments, time on the phone and texting to such, time preparing to go to such, time motivating and pushing in excess of normal for a teen, time with extra shopping, time with extra laundry washing, time with extra cleaning of the home (his OCD means he cannot be where it is dirty… for example keeping the floors, kitchen, showers, and toilet spotless DAILY. To assist with this last one I have hired in a cleaning company to give the whole house a good cleaning twice a month, which isn’t nearly enough. 

What amazes me is how this has all become normal for me. It took A LOT OF WINE to make it normal, but I have learned to accept it. I wonder, what would life belike without all this? Thank goodness we humans can adapt and change.